I forgive you.

Forgiveness is such a powerful thing.

But sometimes in life, we manage to forgive the wrong people. Sometimes, we are tied closely to people who hurt us or who wrong us and we think that by forgiving them, we can move forward, fix that hurt and have some closure.

For the past almost two years, my life has been a rollercoaster, I have been up and down, in and out of unnecessary arguments, trying to make amends with people who really I shouldn’t try with because; them people just do not care.

From my expierence, forgiveness is changing me. Accepting apoligies of people who have hurt me, forgiving those who never apoligised or never asked to be forgiven, letting go of what has happened.

It’s not easy, and not all stories are the same. Sometimes forgiving people is hard, maybe a little too hard, but in order to move on from the past and look forward to your future is by letting go and getting over it.

So in a way, I am grateful to those who have wronged me, who have killed me inside and made me out to be a person I am not, who have played games contiously with my life and my other half, but most of all, I want to say thankyou – because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be getting my life back together and becoming stronger every single day.

There is no point holding a grudge anymore. I forgive you.

Coming out on the other side.

This time last year, it was amazing. Me and my partner just moved together. We were getting ready to start our plans and our future together. After so long of being miserable and unhappy, I was finally getting back on my feet, or that’s what I thought.

On March 13th 2017, it was a normal day. Alex got up and started to get ready for work. That morning, I had a lay in as I wasn’t in work till later on that day. Around 8.10 Alex left and shortly after that, I started to bleed heavily. I remember going to the toilet, I had a massive clot come out and I was scared. I rang the doctors and booked myself in for an emergency appointment.

I got there, I told them my situation. They decided they wanted me to take a pregnancy test, at first I was thinking “that’s silly, I know I’m not” but as I thought about it, I realised I had missed my period by just over a week. I went to the toilet, I did the test and it came back positive. The doctor wasn’t happy, so later on they sent me up the hospital.

Once I got there, I rang Alex and told him he had to get there. When he arrived, I had just been called in for my blood tests (to check my HCG levels) and straight after that, I had to go for an internal scan.

Sadly, once we went for the scan, there was no heartbeat. We lost our baby. I clung onto Alex, he held me in his arms as he was crying and told me “It will be okay, I promise” but at that time, it was just words. I went numb, I broke down. Even though we never planned to have a baby, to lose one.. I could never describe the pain.

For a long time after, we was both down. We started arguing, constantly bickering because we couldn’t talk about it. One night, we got into a major fight and I walked out. I went to the park and just sat outside, in the rain. He found out where I was and came and got me and took me home. When we got home, we decided to sit down and write a letter to our baby.

“Dear baby,
Your mother and I have decided to write you this letter because you never had the chance to meet us.
We are so very sorry that we couldn’t protect you, we didn’t know that we were having a baby and when we did, it was already to late and you were gone.
Even though we wasn’t ready for you, just know we both love you with all of our hearts and we would’ve loved to meet you.
We are both really upset that you never got the chance to see the world. We promise that no matter what happens, we will always care for you. Even though we may have more kids in the future, you will always be our first baby and we will never forget you.
I’m sorry we couldn’t watch you grow, I’m sorry we couldn’t see your first smile or laugh. I’m sorry that we never will get the chance to see you walk. I’m sorry baby. You are in a better place. we love you, mum and dad”.

After this, we went up to the castle, to our favourite spot and we burned the letter. The pain I felt was horrible, but I also felt free.

One year on, I’m still not okay. I still wonder “Why did it happen to us”. I still ask the same questions “Would you have been a boy or a girl?” “Would you have looked like mummy or daddy?” Sadly, we will never know.

But what i do know, is that mummy and daddy have an angel forever looking over us and protecting us and that is the greatest gift of all. 💕

Mothers day.

I’ve never really like Mothers Day. The way I see it, you shouldn’t celebrate it just one day a day, it should be all year around. But today, it was such a lovely day.

So this morning, I saw my children. Today out of 3 days a week is when I get to have them. I got there, I had an Alfie launch himself onto me and cuddle me so tight. I had a smiling little Regan by the side of me and Mason, well he was just too busy with building his train tracks to notice 🤣.

While we was buliding and creating new things, Mason came up to me with his sparkling smile and said “Mummy, Happy Mothers Day”. I said to him “How did you know about Mothers day sweetie?” And his reply was “We got told about it in school, your very special mummy” and from that, I felt my heart rush, I pulled him close into me and I cried.

(Old picture of all 3 of them together as I forgot my phone today).

After seeing my kids, I went home. It was the first Mothers Day without having my kids around contiously, & it broke me. When I got in, I locked myself in my room and just went to sleep hoping that when I woke up, It would be the next day and I could get myself ready for my last three shifts at work.

But instead, I got woken up by my partner when he arrived home from work. He came into the bedroom, explaining that he knew how bad today was gonna be for me. He walked over, sat on the bed and gave me a card and brought me a few things from my children (and our lost babas.)

I don’t think I have ever cried so much. I felt pain, but within that moment, I also felt happiness. What my Partner did for me today has made me realise how much I love him and when this day comes around for him in a few months time, I’ll be there. I’ll be there to get him his card and I will be there to try my best to make him feel a bit better than he would.

Happy Mothers Day everyone, as I said everyday should feel like a mothers day because we are there for our children 24-7, but it’s nice to feel special for just that one day. ❤

Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.

For a long time, I wanted a tattoo.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve already got 6 that mean pretty much alot to me. But this one, this one would get me through everything.

You see, for a long while I’ve been suffering with Mental Health issues. I’ve suffered with Depression, Anxiety and also Anger. I don’t trust many people after being let down by those contiously, so trying to talk to someone is hard.

“Sometimes you gotta fall, before you fly”. Well that says everything does it? For the last year or so, I’ve been at my lowest point in life, where I felt like I was in this black hole & no matter how much I climbed, no matter how much I screamed for help, I was stuck and it was horrible.

But now, I’m finally getting back on my feet. Even though the bad days are still there, I get good days now. The days of where I want to get out of bed and do something with my hair and makeup. The days of when I can meet friends for a cup of tea and relax.

So here’s to you Mental Health, you’ve teared me down, worn me out, but I wanna say thankyou. Because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today.

The everyday adventure of us. ❤

Hi everybody, I hope you are well.

This blog is called “The Everyday Adventure of us”. The reason as to why you may ask. Well, back in November of last year me and a very close friend decided to set up a page on Facebook called “The Everyday Adventure of us”. This blog means alot to us. The reason we set it up in the first place was to raise awareness of Mental Health by sharing our expierences and hoping to help others with it.

5 months later, we now have nearly 3 and a half thousand supporting what we do. Sometimes, it gets hard. I work full time and my mate who runs it also has a toddler, so we are constantly busy. But we always find the time to help someone when they are struggling.

So today guys, I wanted to share this. I want you all to have a look at it, tell me what you think. If you like it, come follow us, if you need a talk, our inbox will always be open to you. If you think we need to make any changes, then please let me know.


Dear Ex,

Why did you do what you did to me? Why did you think it was okay to break me down and throw me to one side? Why did you think it was okay to use me? I have so many questions for you to answer, but the words never come out.

You fed me lie after lie, line after line, and I was mouth wide open thinking you were mine.

I tried, I fought, I cried, I wasted good years on you. Everything I did, was for you but it was just never enough.

We spent 5 years together, and for alot of that time, we was not healthy. The arguments we had, the screams, the cries, it was awful. Neither of us deserved that as a life.
What killed me the most out of it all though – is how you just chucked me to one side when there was a better offer. That wasn’t right and I would never of hurt you like that.

The reason I wrote this today, not because I hate you, not because you make me hate myself, but because I finally have forgiven you for what you did to me.

And now, I feel free.

Dear my three wonderful children,

You three are so very special to mummy. Not only do you make me smile, not only do you make my heart race every single time you jump on me for a huge cuddle; but you all make me so proud.

So here is an open letter from mummy to you.


From the moment I looked into those beautiful big blue eyes, you changed my life. I went from a person who didn’t care about anything to a person that was full of love. From day one; you light up the room everytime you smiled. I remember one night, me and you was cuddling on the sofa together. You must’ve been only around 7 months old and you looked at me and said “mummy”. I had never been happier just to hear that one word.

Last week, we sat down and you made me this puzzle. Even though you got frustrated a few times because some pieces wouldn’t fit together, you managed it. You are such an independent beautiful little boy. Thankyou for letting mummy grow with you.


You are too adorable for words. Watching you grow into the little boy that you are, it makes me light up. When you draw or paint, I like to sit there and watch you. With you, there can be no mistakes, everything has to be perfect. But baby, please remember that to me, everything you do is perfect. You are a boisterous little boy, but you also are kind, caring and loving. The way you look after your older and younger brother really does amaze me. You protect them, with all your heart and soul and I know that no matter what happens, you will always be there for them.


How has 19 months gone so quickly? I remember like it was yesterday you being a tiny little baby that was ill and couldn’t do much and now look at you! Your talking, your walking, your a sassy one year old! As like your older brother Mason, you are a very independent little boy. You like to play with your cars and trucks alone, but if someone wants to play with you, you let them. You like your cuddles, you absolutely love kisses on your noses, you scream with laughter when I try and tickle you. It makes me happy to see you happy. You’re smart, well developed in your age, you are reaching all your milestones. Baby, I can’t even begin to explain the love I have for you.

So boys, keep doing what you are doing. Enjoy your life, be happy. God didn’t put you on this Earth for nothing. Make your mistakes, but learn from them but, no matter what, I will always be proud of the three amazing boys that I get to call my children. I love you all so much. ❤

One year ago.

This day last year was a normal day. I woke up, got myself ready and went out to spend the day with friends. Little did I know what was going to happen.

While I was out that afternoon I had a phone call of my Auntie giving me some bad news. My Granddad had turned for the worst and he had a few hours left.

Me and my granddad wasn’t very close. The last time I really saw him, I was around 6 years old. It was at my great Nan’s wake. My parents had got into a huge argument with my grandparents and the rest of my dad’s side of the family and from that basically, I never really saw or spoke to that part of the family.

Anyways, back to that night. After speaking to my Aunt, I decided to get in touch with my Uncle and other members of the family to find out what was going on. I didn’t really realise how bad he was. Around 6pm that night, because I couldn’t get to London my aunt rung me from the hospital, to basically say goodbye to my Grandfather. I told him I loved him and I hope he will be okay wherever he went.

About an hour later, he passed away.

A year on, I don’t really know how to feel. I have alot of memories with him before we stopped seeing each other and those memories I’ll keep close to heart. Wether we was close, or not. He was still my Granddad and that time we got together was lovely.

This is why I like to keep my family as close to me as I can, because in a split second, they are gone.

Rest in peace Granddad. Miss you lots. ❤

Goodbye negativity. 🖑

So, for a long time I’ve dealt with certain people who have made my life a downfall. Recently, I have realised that when I have let these people into my life, I’ve become a person of who I can’t explain. I became more snappy, more in your face, and for quite some time the drama, it was funny.

But since cutting these people out of my life, I’ve become a better human being. My friends and my family have seen a big change in myself, which does make me quite happy.

The thing that upsets me the most, is that these negative people I called friends for quite sometime. I would be there to listen to their problems, when people was verbally abusing them, I’d be there to help.

But this is the thing, you can’t help people who don’t want the help. Having “friends” that can sit there and lie about being “raped”. That can lie about people “beating them, that can sit there and lie and make you out to be the problem, when really its them. But most of all, having people that can sit there and lie so many times about having a “miscarriage” well, that must be truly messed up inside and out.

So to those people, goodbye. It was some fun having you apart of my life, but I’m not gonna be treated like a mug or a fool anymore. Snip snip bitches.

Also, for those who probably think that this is about my partners ex. It is not. (Just before the rumours wanna start) 😆

Dear Alex,

I don’t think you will ever realise deep down how truly special you are to me. Since we got together, we have gone through quite alot but look at us now, 17 months down the line and we are stronger than ever. At first, we struggled, alot. Getting used to each other, finding out what the other one likes and dislikes, it was weird starting new. But now, i would not have it any other way.

Right now, I currently have you sleeping and moaning at me (you thought it was a great idea to stay up till 6am, playing the Playstation). When really, it was a shit idea because the weather actually looks alright today!

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah. Thankyou for being here always for me. The last 6 months have been absolutely awful, but you helped me through it. We have only got 10 more days in this town until we leave for Newport. Even though Newport will be a fresh start for the both of us.. we have made some amazing memories here. I wish in a way, we didn’t have to go.

I just wanted to say Thankyou. Thankyou for being you. To me, you are perfect – from the top of your head and all the way down to your toes, from the moments you think I’m asleep and I can feel you giving me a kiss on my cheek, and even the times when we do have our little fallings out, because everything that happens, always brings us closer together.

I love you, Alex. ❤